How to win at life ... or, Happy Anniversary, Rachel!

So... today Rachel and I celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary.  It's not sexy like a tenth wedding anniversary; the newness of being married has long worn off (which in our case was a good thing), and honestly, I'm not sure that many people even care.  (I found out the veracity of that remark when I mentioned it to a co-worker in passing.  Their response... "oh, ok.  That actually reminds me -- my cat and I have our second anniversary coming up.")

But our anniversary means the world to me.

Why?

It's not because nine is super special-- we've already established that.  But the fact that we're celebrating anything today means neither one of us has quit.  (by the way, that, kids, is the secret to how to win at life-- keep showing up. don't say I didn't tell you.)

\  I wouldn't have blamed Rachel if she quit this year.  She almost died the day Jael was born, had to learn a new skill -- taking care of Jael -- that took as much time as a full-time job (45 hours a week), while simultaneously coming with a compensation package in the range of -$85,000/yr. sans insurance.  She had to deal with me losing my job (and its health insurance), moping around the house for three months taking whatever carpentry projects came my way and waiting impatiently for the phone to ring.  She had to deal with two boys that have recently each started to re-assert their independence (read: declare open war) from time to time.  She still, ten months later, takes Jael to two appointments--MOST OF THEM IN BOSTON-- every week while scheduling childcare for the other two.

Walk away?  No one would really have blamed her,  But she didn't.  My wife -- thank God -- meant what she said when she said "for better or worse" nine years ago... and that's about the highest compliment I can give her.

You know what else?  When I said "in sickness and in health,"  I meant it too.  I'm the resident drama queen in the household -- although LJ is breathing down my neck for the title-- and romantic enough to hold to the notion (though I'm starting to loosen my grip on it a bit) that romance is dramatic and flashy, a little bit like the Bachelorette.  In that vein, for our anniversary, I planned out a day where:

   --We awoke to the melodic sounds of children screaming with night terrors,
   -- Followed it up with a morning in which Judah threw a temper tantrum so righteously I couldn't even give her a card amidst it;
   -- The beautiful icing on the cake she made for us wouldn't actually stick to the cake;
    --Planned a last-minute phone call at work that kept me so late that I arrived home as she walked out the door to her work;
      -- Scripted a time with the children where they romantically helped us prepare for ... World War III ... complete with  intense screaming for 90 minutes;

Walk away?  Today?  Not many people would have blamed me.  But I didn't. 

And that means the world to her.  Some days, you win by not losing.  Some days, you win by showing up.  Today, like every other day so far, we won.

And for that, today is our best anniversary ever.  Maybe not as awesome as some, but definitely the best.

  Happy anniversary, Rach!