One Year Old!

Well our baby is one. Early on after having Jael, I told Micah that I wanted to do two things to celebrate this first year with her: go away just the two of us for a night (which we did in August- thank you Grammy and Pa!) and have a BIG birthday party for her at Lynch Park. Since I've had children, I've wanted to have a party at Lynch Park but, you know, their February birthdays have hindered that thus far.

So we had a party! Probably the biggest party I've ever thrown and it was so much fun! We were SO blessed this year by our friends, family, and community. We received weeks worth of meals when she was born and then again when she had her first surgery. Friends and aunties and Grammys/Grams babysat big boys while I took Jael to countless doctors appointments. So many of those around us took interested in our new lives with Jael, celebrated each new thing she accomplished and continually lifted us up in prayer. We wanted to say thank you and celebrate- so we did!

Here's a taste of the party!

                                                                                                                    Some of the babies meeting!

                   

                    My dear friend who loves my kids so well                    

month by month picture banner

The cake

 

                             The incredible Auntie Laura!                                                            

The neighborhood crew!

   Decorating rainbow cupcakes!

                                                    Someone was partied out! haha

Brothers helping to open presents!

 

My beautiful, fun, smart, determined, strong little lady!

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephania 3:17

One Month Old

Two Months Old

                                                                   Three Months Old

                                                                    Four Months Old

                                                                   Five Months Old

                                                                    Six Months Old

Seven Months Old

                                                                   Eight Months Old

    Nine Months Old

                                                                     Ten Months Old

                                                                  Eleven Months Old

                                                                     One Year Old!

"Things I want you to know"

Things I want you to know

That's the subject line of the email Micah sent me exactly one year ago today.

That was the day I had returned to the postpartum floor after spending the overnight alone in the ICU while nurses cared for my baby and Micah held down the home front.  I had finally met our baby girl, only to be told she had a disorder I couldn't pronounce.

 I called him to share the news as he was home with the boys, anxiously waiting for us to come home. One of the hardest things about that weekend, just a year ago, was that Micah and I were apart. He was at home caring for the boys, I was at the hospital recovering and meeting Jael. Most of our conversations (big, life changing, decision making conversations) happened over the phone. It was hard.

Amidst that chaos, he sent this email. This is a glimpse into the behind the scenes of our marriage, our life together, during one of the hardest times we've had together- probably the most difficult and scary times of my (Rachel's) life to speak of so far. This email is just one reason I love this man and his commitment to God and his family:

things I want you to know

  Rachel,

                  It's been a rough weekend for all of us, I think, but especially for you-- caught in the middle as you had an incredibly rough physical time with surgery, emotional time with starting to bond with Jael as you learned she might have some serious physical limitations, and struggling with loneliness as you do this half alone.  I want you to know that you're my hero(ine) for persevering as you battle through this giant mess with the best hopes of our baby girl in mind;  and I want you to know that though I don't want to be discouraged, I can feel the lion roaring hard at the door as well.  At times like these I simply want you to know that I love you more than I can say and I am here for the long haul, come what may. (the rhyme here was unintentional. )  I can't wait until I see you at home and back on your feet again; you are a joy to me and I thank you for persevering through three ridiculous pregnancies/ labors to give us these precious gifts from God named Elijah, Judah and Jael.  I love you, pretty girl :)

Today, a year later, we celebrated Jael with the biggest party I've ever thrown (that'll be a future blog post!).  Over a hundred people who love our little girl showed up to celebrate her, and us, and the fact that we couldn't have made it without them.  We celebrated her life, her amazing accomplishments, and making it through a very life changing year. (side note- I think all first birthdays deserve a celebration of the parents making through the first year). But a large part of why we could celebrate this year is because of this email and because the man who sent this email meant what he said and acted on it. So today we celebrated!

A day in the life of the Jaelster

What a difference a year makes!  Unlike the last September 26th, today I did not:  wonder if my wife was going to die, wonder why my child came out of the womb looking like a ninja, or mainline coffee hoping I could stay up all day to figure out what the heck was going on.  (Ok, so scratch #3)

In all seriousness, though, the fact that we came through the valley of the shadow with both ladies in this family alive and healthy is something that I may never take for granted again.  And on this day of remembrance for our little family (although one of the humorous side effects of Rachel's little dalliance with hypothermic shock is that she actually doesn't remember the day), I thought that we'd take a little look at the life of Jael as she hits a year old-- narrated, of course, by Jael:

12:00 -- sleeping, of course!

2:30 -- time to eat!  Dad always looks a little cranky the first time I see him every day, and not very talkative; to make up for it, I manage to fill the silence admirably until Mama quenches my insatiable thirst;

4:30  I test the waters to see if I will be allowed to play for the day.  Lately, at this time of morning,  the parents have been downright dour.  Where Dad used to play with me regularly, especially when I bestowed my winningest smile, now he merely grunts and turns me over to Mama again.  Sometimes, Mama doesn't even wake up and talk to me when she feeds me.  I think I'll put in a complaint with management.  A loud one.

5:45 Success!! Now that I have enlisted the help of Elijah and Judah, we have been able to get Dad out of bed and downstairs.  Sometimes,if Mama isn't looking, he will even pull off my clunky foot braces and give me books to read.  It's all fun and games with him until Judah decides to "read" my book to me.  I never get it back. (sniff) Never.

6:15 Um, I think I've been forgotten in the living room...

6:35 I've had enough of this !!!  Get me off the floor!!!  I'm going to scream and wake Mama up if someone doesn't pick me up now!!!! Just what's a girl gotta do to get a little attention around here!!

6:45 Thank God for Judah.  He went upstairs and woke Mama up saying that Dad and Elijah were ignoring my yelping.  Mama always looks surprised to see me, but no matter how surprised she looks, she never forgets to put on my 'day boots.'  At least I get rid of those wrist clubs that I have to wear all night.

7:15 Whoa.  Elijah's concept of personal space needs a little fine-tuning.  I love me some adulation like any girl, but couldn't you idolize me from further away than, say, two inches?  Time for food.

8:00 Me and my two teeth are getting pretty tired out from all my cereal-eating....

9:30 Time for swimming!  I love the water.... it's like I'm weightless... this little girl loves weightless!  Love it when Dad throws me up.... love it when I'm swimming.  When I grow up, I might just be a pilot so I can fly free...

10:30  Ok, so that's harder than Michael Phelps makes it look.  I might just take a little snooze when Mama and I go get the giants from their co-op.

12:00 FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
12:15 MORE FOOD!
12:30  Coming up on the best time of the day... everyone goes for a nap and I get Mama to myself.

1:15 Oops, forgot it was therapy day-- so much to having Mama to myself.  Still, it's ok. I like all my therapists -- I just can never remember which one's coming.  I think today it's Miss  (name redacted by parental censors)

2:30 I forgot how much I hate the stretching part of therapy... thank goodness these pipes are finely tuned to 'screech.'

3:30 A girl's gotta get her beauty rest.,.

4:30 Cartoons with the brothers!  After cartoons, it mostly turns into all-out war.  I try and stay away from the marauders, but considering my mobility's limited, I've gotten really good at ducking...

5:25 Dad!  Rescue me (ducks as book goes flying overhead)

5:45 This is my favorite time of day -- sitting on Dad's lap, not a care in the world.  Eating dinner. Lots of it.  Sometimes more than Elijah, in fact.  Unless it's pizza.  No one eats more pizza than him.

6:15 Mudballs!  Awesomest game ever! I'd explain how it's played except I really don't know-- I just sit in the corner and duck when the big cushions come flying at me... it's actually pretty reminiscent of the rest of my life.

7:15  Elijah and I go to bed.  Sometimes before bed, I like to sit in Elijah's cradle (in my room, of course) and snuggle with all the stuffed animals.  At times, I've been mistaken for one of the stuffed animals.  Embarrassing....

7:35 Seriously!  What other babies (first of all, I'm NOT a baby anymore, now that I'm 1) have to put on more gear than a football player just to go to bed!  This is ridiculous... this is outrageous!  This is ab- so -   lute - ly  .......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  P.S. My mama and dad wanted to thank everyone for their prayers (previous and continued) over the past year without which they inform me regularly that I would have been the death of them !!

Grace Abounds

From the pen of the lovely Rachel:

It's hard to believe our baby girl is just about one. What a year it's been--full of surprises, challenges, miracles and God's great grace.

This year has held so many changes for me, the way I live life, my perspective on things, even emotions I feel over things that I've experienced before but now feel in a different way.

It was like that when I first became a mother. No longer could I watch shows and movies about kidnapping (read: Taken) because all of a sudden I could imagine and feel what the parents in the show were feeling and I couldn't take it. It was no longer entertaining; instead, it was horrifying.

Right around Christmas time, I sat down to watch some TV while nursing Jael and Micah put our little (crazy) knights to bed. There was a special on with Roma Downey for Operation Smile, an organization that travels to remote villages and operates on children with cleft lip that otherwise wouldn't be able to afford it. They asked viewers for support and showed mothers and fathers who had walked miles to help their children, many of whom were outcasts and potentially could die without the help.

I couldn't turn away--and as I sat there, I cried. I cried with the mothers and fathers themselves weeping for their children who were turned away because the need was too great and the workers too few. I cried with mothers and fathers handing their children over to total strangers who would operate on their precious little loves. And I cried with the mothers and fathers who saw their children for the first time after surgery, who had hope for their precious little one's lives for the first time.

I cried, not just for them, because that could have been me.

What if I wasn't in America? What if Jael had been born in a poor, remote village? That would have been me, the crying parent that appeared in front of me on the TV.

We are SO fortunate!

During Micah's unemployement this past winter, one of the things we talked about many times was suffering. Without stooping too far into the pity jar, it had been quite the half year with Jael's birth, our new life with Jael coupled with Micah's unemployment, which was really challenging particularly on an emotional level.

At the same time, I kept coming back to two questions-- what does suffering actually look like? and --do I suffer personally? I came to the conclusion that we weren't really suffering, in part because we live in America.

Here I was, with a medically complex child (to say the least), an unemployed husband, and two other small children and yet we still had a home and medical care and food.  We knew where our next meal was coming from, and we knew that all around us were people who would pray and serve and help. It helped me realize just how fortunate our little family is to live in America with our baby girl and her disability. Life would not look very good for her elsewhere in our world.

It's with this knowledge and understanding that my heart as been softened for those precious babes who are medically complex and lacking the resources for medical care or education. And it's organizations like Chunmiao Little Flower that have my attention.

On July 21st a friend posted on my facebook a picture of an adorable tiny little baby with the caption "Ten day old Min arrived this week. He's a tiny little guy who weighs just 4 lbs (1810g). Min needs casting for his club feet; we suspect his diagnosis is arthrogryposis (AMC)."

What??

Here was a tiny, medically complex baby, abandoned in China, and in need of medical intervention.

And hope.

This little guy had found his way to an amazing organization in China that takes in medically complex babies who have been abandoned, and provides for their medical care, education and the love they need.

It's called Chunmiao Little Flower. (http://chunmiaolittleflower.org/)

I spent days pouring over the website and reading all I could on this new-to-me organization. Just looking at the sweet little faces of tiny babies who now have hope in their lives. Wow. Just WOW!

As a mother of such a child, I have a very new understanding of these little ones plight and I THANK GOD for this group who loves these children, fights for their best, cares for them, and gives them hope.

As Jael turns one this year, we are preparing to celebrate the amazing little girl she is and to thank all  who have helped us love her, care for her, and fight for her best. And we're going to celebrate just how fortunate that we are by helping to support Little Flower Project provide the same care that Jael receives now for those who have no one to advocate for them.

Grace abounds -- to us and to you.

A slice of (odd-tasting) humble pie

This is really a very literary post, at its core.  (drum roll please)

  "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."   I think that classic Dickens line even got the order right.  We had just finished reading Beats Me, Claude,  a delightful book that's actually the second in a loosely-knit series of four.  My very favorite part about reading it is every time we get to the best part (I won't spoil it too badly here) Elijah starts giggling a page ahead.  A full page.  Squealing. "Mom! Mom!  Come here!"

Rachel, to her credit, has only heard the punch ten times or so in the last hour, but still manages to enthusiastically respond to LJ,. "What is it?"

 "Mom, You have to listen!  It's almost the part (giggle, giggle, uncontrollable snickering) where (hiccup) Claude asks Shirley ( snort ), 'Shirley, why is the sheriff arresting a moose?' "  At this point we generally have to pause the story while the entire scene is re-enacted, robber shooting apple pie, bullet ricocheting into moose-head, moose-head landing on robber, robber flailing about, etc.  (Ok, so I spoiled it but good)

  It was right there, knee-deep into the story,  that I had my genius idea. GENIUS.  Even we could make an apple pie better than the main character.  Hell, when I was 12 or 13 I used to make them from scratch.  This is what it looked like in my head:



This should have been the first real "red alert!" that something might be awry.  I was, with no practice, going to attempt something I last did TWENTY years ago.  But alas, no such alarms went off in my head.  "Judah! Elijah!  Let's make an apple pie!"  I should also add at this point that I did not work on Saturday, which is really rare for me; instead, I had been domesticating all weekend-- doing dishes, laundry (maybe not laundry -- that might just be a bridge too far), vacuuming, watching 5 (mm-hmm.. 5 ) children, cleaning out my truck, and many, many other boring things.  But the net result is that I was overvaluing my general ability to help out by, say, a factor of twenty.  "We'll even make the crust!"  This got a raised eyebrow from across the table.  Rach can cook anything -- but even she's not nuts enough to take a pie crust,

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!  I used to do this all the time.  I'll take Elijah as a helper; we'll do the crust in no time.  If you and Judah can keep up, we'll pump out two pies just like in the book."  What was it that Shakespeare said about "vaulting ambition, which oer'reaches itself?"

"In the book the pies explode, nearly decapitate, and nearly poison people," my lovely wife pointed out unhelpfully.  "So it can't be as bad as that!"  was my cheerful  reply.

Wrong again.

Five minutes into the easiest pie-crust recipe I could find, I realized I might be in trouble when Judah (who, to his credit, sat through the whole 45-minute ordeal) looked concernedly down at my creation and said, "Dad, what you making?"  It was a good question.  What I had in my hands vaguely reminded me of quicksand, with the difference being that quicksand holds together far better than whatever I had just birthed.

It was a murky taupe color; it could take any amount of flour, water, or oil without changing its consistency, which was loosely bonded lumps; and no matter how much I punched it, refused to change shape.

  I was just about to call Scientific American and let them know I had discovered a new element for the military to build unbreakable aircraft with when Judah looked up.  "Oh, Mom finished sticky part-- we have wait for you now?"  Yup.  We had to wait for me. And wait for me.  And wait for me.

We had to wait so long that poor Elijah couldn't actually eat the pie that night;  it didn't even come out of the oven until 8:00.

So take that, fictional character.  I can indeed make pies as bad as you.  And maybe I should listen to my wife more.  But I will say this... unlike the book, no one has jumped up after eating it and screamed, "I've been poisoned!!"  .. yet.

The boys and I might stick to cookies.