"Things I want you to know"

Things I want you to know

That's the subject line of the email Micah sent me exactly one year ago today.

That was the day I had returned to the postpartum floor after spending the overnight alone in the ICU while nurses cared for my baby and Micah held down the home front.  I had finally met our baby girl, only to be told she had a disorder I couldn't pronounce.

 I called him to share the news as he was home with the boys, anxiously waiting for us to come home. One of the hardest things about that weekend, just a year ago, was that Micah and I were apart. He was at home caring for the boys, I was at the hospital recovering and meeting Jael. Most of our conversations (big, life changing, decision making conversations) happened over the phone. It was hard.

Amidst that chaos, he sent this email. This is a glimpse into the behind the scenes of our marriage, our life together, during one of the hardest times we've had together- probably the most difficult and scary times of my (Rachel's) life to speak of so far. This email is just one reason I love this man and his commitment to God and his family:

things I want you to know

  Rachel,

                  It's been a rough weekend for all of us, I think, but especially for you-- caught in the middle as you had an incredibly rough physical time with surgery, emotional time with starting to bond with Jael as you learned she might have some serious physical limitations, and struggling with loneliness as you do this half alone.  I want you to know that you're my hero(ine) for persevering as you battle through this giant mess with the best hopes of our baby girl in mind;  and I want you to know that though I don't want to be discouraged, I can feel the lion roaring hard at the door as well.  At times like these I simply want you to know that I love you more than I can say and I am here for the long haul, come what may. (the rhyme here was unintentional. )  I can't wait until I see you at home and back on your feet again; you are a joy to me and I thank you for persevering through three ridiculous pregnancies/ labors to give us these precious gifts from God named Elijah, Judah and Jael.  I love you, pretty girl :)

Today, a year later, we celebrated Jael with the biggest party I've ever thrown (that'll be a future blog post!).  Over a hundred people who love our little girl showed up to celebrate her, and us, and the fact that we couldn't have made it without them.  We celebrated her life, her amazing accomplishments, and making it through a very life changing year. (side note- I think all first birthdays deserve a celebration of the parents making through the first year). But a large part of why we could celebrate this year is because of this email and because the man who sent this email meant what he said and acted on it. So today we celebrated!