Elijah: Dad!
--I'm right next to you.
Elijah: Daad!
-- I'm right here.
Elijah: Daaaaaaaaaad!
--I'M RIGHT HERE, ELIJAH! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Elijah (walks away): You don't have to yell, you know.
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Elijah: Dad, do you want to hear about My Little Ponies and their special Rainbow Sparkle abilities?
--Um, no.
Elijah: Good. So there was this one time when ....... (continues for two minutes; honestly, I can't deal with sparkle ponies, sorry.) Dad, isn't that exciting?
-- Um, Dad doesn't appreciate the show as much as you do .
Elijah: Its ok. When I finish telling you this story, you will. So when Rainbow Dash met her best friend....
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Elijah (approaches with a twinkle in his eye): Dad, I think that I have found a way to trick you that you will never see coming.
--Ok.
Elijah: I --well, just wait a minute. (writes down four or five addition problems). All right. You have one minute to do these or --
--Or what? I love a good challenge.
Elijah: I haven't thought of it yet. On your mark, get set, go!
-- (2.2 seconds later) Done!
Elijah: (Thoughtfully look over the paper, nods) Well, that was disaappointing.
Rachel: You know, Elijah, I have a secret for you. Your dad is really good at math in his head. You might want to try something a little different to stump him.
Elijah: I have it. (Scribbles furiously) I bet he hasn't learned subtraction!
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** I have to note on this last one... a dear friend gave him a Yoda sweatshirt for his birthday. He refuses to wear it as a jacket and instead has relegated to the toy bin, calling it a costume. He wears it pretty much exclusively to scare Jael. However, he was wearing it today because, lo and behold, yesterday at Target he and Judah were so impressively obedient they picked lightsabers as a reward. He knows NOTHING about Star Wars but did somehow remember that his Yoda sweatshirt and the lightsabers were somehow related. Thus, during this conversation he was wearing his Yoda sweatshirt brandishing a lightsaber. Just thought it would add to the ambiance. **
Elijah: So what hurts more, a lightsaber or a sword?
--Well, one's not real.
Elijah: I know. Answer the question.
-- Well, if a lightsaber were real, I think it would hurt more. It would probably cut you in half?
Elijah: Would it cut Judah in half? He's really tough.
Judah (wanders in): No. it wouldn't.
Elijah (grabs lightsaber): Let's find out. Judah, grab a real sword.
-- And besides, I don't think Yoda's allowed to use a lighsaber. He moves things with his mind.
Elijah (keeping in mind that he has Yoda's face on): Who's Yoda?
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