an interview with the LJ

I've been thinking about writing this one for awhile, but here's a sneak peek into our beautiful little man's psyche, Barbara Walters-style:

Interviewer (I): Welcome back to Kids Who Kan. Today we'll be talking to the man known around the area as "Big Air." Let's start off with the basics. What's your name, little man?

Elijah (LJ): ElijahWilsonNimon.

I: Again, please?

LJ: ElijahWilsonNimon (getting a little confused) JudahClaytonNimon? I'm 2. (staring at interviewer) You're pretty woman. (distracted) I see fan!

I: You see a fan?

LJ: Yes-- white fan. Turn on now!

I: Um, ok. (Goes to turn fan on) Is that better?

LJ: (starts melting down) No. NO! You turn fan on! (points at himself)

I: I though I just did.

LJ: Let Lijah turn it on! Pick me up!

I: I think I'm just going to switch subjects here. How did you get to be known as "Big Air" when you're clearly one of the smaller young men I've ever met?

LJ: I'm not small! You're small! (sees TV monitor behind interviewer) Watch some Curious Georges?

I: That's not a real TV. It's just a picture of us while we do the interview.

LJ: (jumps off seat and wanders over to the TV) I see letters! K-I-D-S W-H-O K-A-N.

I: (looks slightly impressed) That's not bad. I bet your mom taught you that before we came on the show, huh?

LJ: No. Elijah do it all by himself.

I: What does it spell?

LJ: (looks very proud of himself) Balloons!

I: (doesn't know what to say) Well, that's about all the time we have. I hope you've enjoyed this special--

LJ: (interrupting) Pretty earrings. You have very pretty earrings.

I: Thanks. Anyways, that's a--

LJ: Can I touch your earrings? Please? Please?

I: Goodbye, everyone.

LJ: (smiles for first time and blows kisses to interviewer) Goodbye, pretty lady!

....... and that's basically what talking to the LJ in real life is like.