Why Forgiveness is Awesome!

... because otherwise I'd be a really bad dad! (Take that, Dr. Seuss!)

So after one of the most frustrating Thanksgivings on record and an awesome trip to the zoo to counterbalance it, I learned that actually most of the things I like to eat are vegetarian! Or sort of... I realize all of a sudden I don't really know the fine hairs of difference between vegetarian, vegan and etc. But I really like bread, peanut butter, mac and cheese (this is where I couldn't remember if milk was vegetarian-friendly or not... it's got a bit of a long-distance relationship going with the cow), fruit and pie! On that happy note, maybe just maybe I will weigh 20 pounds less by the time my sister gets married in February so I fit in all the suits I used to wear when I was 20!! Which was actually one of the best parts about Thanksgiving-- watching someone ask how old my sister was going to be when she got married, find out it was 20, and then forget to pick up their jaw for a good ten seconds... priceless!

But that has nothing to do with forgiveness and hopefully not that much with me being a bad bad dad, so what I really wanted to talk about was this morning, when our two lovable little knights got a slightly undeserved taste of my wrath. I don't want to completely absolve them from their part in this story-- they had been pot-stirrers for some time, starting with bath time last night when Judah wouldn't sit, stand or be held without screaming, so I let him sit in the 'shower' with Elijah ... which has no water in the bottom so no one drowns. Predictably, he screamed. But as I came back 30 seconds later with his clothes, his screams changed tenor-- from "I REALLY don't like you, Dada" to "Help me, Dada!!!!!!" Since this is an odd change in pitch, especially for stubborn little Judah, I rushed in to find.....

...a scene that looked a little like this except I was trying to break up Elijah from snapping a towel off the top of Judah's head-- over and over and over. This sounds really simple. I weigh at least eight times what he does, right? It's a little harder if you don't want to get wet (I abandoned that silliness five seconds in) and are trying to keep two slick little otter-like critters off each other. Anyways, that carried over to this morning, and the fun continued. One moment they were sitting up smiling at each other...

... and the next it was World War III. To go along with this, I have what can be casually known as a 'volcano' emotive system. I'm relatively calm for long spells of time and then ....KABOOOOOOMMMMM! So on to today. The boys had picked their corners of the battlefield,

but had circled each other with lighthearted goodness until a little before 8:00, just before when the Queen gets up on her 'late' sleep-in days (have a good laugh now, college kids) but long after I'm ready for the relief of another person to play with (have a good laugh at me, seasoned stay-at-home parents). Elijah flitted from one toy to another; Judah, our scavenging knight, wisped in right behind him to claim whatever LJ's leftovers were, but he misjudged his timing. Elijah came quickly back for his old toy, and finding Judah attempting to take possession, lightly dispatched Judah, not hitting hard enough to hurt, but enough to move. I swooped in to mediate, but determined that there was a hovering stench in the air-- apparently, they had both fired off their rear missile systems at once. I changed Judah; no problem. I went to change the LJ-- big problem. He had no intention of doing anything except flailing his feet towards the steaming pile of dung residing in his diaper. Normally, I would have calmly told him that he needed to behave or there would be consequences, but lo and behold, the volcano erupted early today.

"ELIJAH WILSON NIMON! PUT YOUR FEET UP NOW!!! STOP IT!!:

"YOU STOP IT, DAD! DON'T YELL!"

"IF YOU TRY AND PUT YOUR FEET IN YOUR DIAPER AGAIN, I'M GOING TO..."

(sound of Judah, three feet away, starting to cry)

(Sound of me realizing that I have to do what I say or I have no shot of raising boys who will be "gentle"men.)

And the wonderful news is that it got better from there. I apologized to Judah, who eventually stopped snuffling; and there was a good two minutes of apologizing to Elijah, who forgave me but said for the next minute and a half, "you scared me, Dad! Be gentle next time." So I would say I would and then he'd repeat himself or find another thing for me to apologize for. It was a really cathartic process, and good for all of us, I think, although Judah may never approach again when Elijah is getting his diaper changed. It just made me incredibly thankful for the gift of forgiveness, though. Without it I don't think stories could end like this:

Hope that you all are recovering from Thanksgiving well!!