Things I actually said today

   No picture today... so you will just have to use your imagination.  These are things I actually said today-- context given after the quote.

    "To be clear, is he planning on working all day or watching the child?"  -- to a mom-to-be at our church small group tonight.  She had just explained to me that her researcher husband will be watching the newborn child while working two days a week.  I'm tentatively dubious.

    "Can you please not walk with a penguin in your mouth?  I don't want you to fall down and kill yourself." -- to Elijah, who was carrying so many plastic penguins he had to carry them in his mouth.

    "Come over here now or I will not change your diaper and check your man-parts!"  -- Elijah again, using any leverage I can to get him to come over for a diaper change.

    "Really?  Really?  Really!"   --- to Judah, in sheer exasperation that he literally had to be held for fifteen minutes straight or else scream like Banshee from X-Men at any hint of me placing him on the floor.

   "Yeah, he's one.  If you don't want him to touch it maybe you should move it out from under his hands."  -- to a six-year-old at small group, who was very upset that after he put his shiny globe literally under Judah's nose, Judah then played with it without asking permission.

   Finally, a throwback reference to yesterday:   "Uh-huh, yesterday was pretty rough.  I felt bad for Rachel, though.  She essentially had to deal with three cranky men all day, and the only distinguishing feature between me and them was that I finally grew out of diapers."

   Well, I can't take it back now.  The life lesson here is that when you have kids, you may as well trade your dignity for a minivan-- you're only going to one of them over the next twenty years.

         Have a wonderful night all!