(To all those who have one child and your world rocks too, fire back a counterpoint-- I grew up in a big family and am grateful for many of the things it taught me. Read on:)
To give a perspective, this is slightly less than one half of my father's side of the family-- circa summer 2010... and my mom's family is comparably sized.
This particular post is dedicated to my man-crush on big families, although I'm pretty sure I don't want a family as big as the ones on TV that are like "18 Kids and Counting"... what I always love about big families is the endless possibilities. I was the oldest of five kids, and being the oldest, whenever I had a bad day, there was always a younger sibling to take it out on. I feel bad for all the only children in the world-- what do they do when they have a terrible day? Run around their incredibly large room that they don't have to share with anyone else screaming at no one? BORING.
No, when you have four siblings under the age of 8, there's always fun to be had. Is it a sunny day? Excellent--let's play human ladder off the deck.... it's all fun and games until the one on top gets really tired and drops the three subsequent siblings into a massive pile five feet below. Hey, what about pitching a tent in the backyard? No hypothetical story here-- yesterday, while I was watching Judah and Elijah, I pitched them some on the deck. Whenever Judah would attempt to enter EITHER tent, Elijah would run over, and (knowing he's not allowed to hit Judah) angle his butt at Judah's head so that Judah would eventually fall over. This is a technique he perfected at our little piano. Often the two of them will want to make music, and it isn't odd at all to see both of them standing at our toddler-sized piano plucking away at the ivories. Rarely, however, do you see this for more than fifteen seconds. Once Elijah figures out that Judah is also playing, our territorial little madman will start walking slowly down the piano at Judah while he continues to play. Generally he just keeps walking right through him, forcing Judah off the edge of the piano. To Judah's credit, he generally holds his ground and refuses to move, which means that he tips harder and harder until he can no longer hold himself up, and PLOP! Down he goes in a crying heap. To re-emphasize Elijah's dissociation with his impact on life, the last two times this has happened he has looked at me and with some impatience said, "Daddy--Judah crying. Please make him stop." Not really sure whether to burst out laughing or crying on that one. But can you imagine what fun it would be with four at the piano?
Other situations where more might be better:
a)Fielding your own football team. I worked with a gentlemen who was the third of ten-- and his neighbors had sixteen kids!! No need for video games when you can actually field a squad worthy of Madden '12 with one phone call.
b) Epic outings. When Les Miserables was making its final run through Broadway in 2003, I scheduled a trip where four of the five of us skipped our respective schools/ high schools/ colleges for one day starting at 5:00 in the morning and drove through Boston and New York traffic to see our favorite musical of all time. Did I mention that we all brought friends? That my brother got lost in Manhattan because he didn't really get that every other street goes in opposite directions? Or that the Queen (who might not even have been my fiance yet) pretty much flashed the parking attendant getting out of the car at the parking garage? Try doing that without four siblings to go nuts on each other for getting lost, etc. Epic.
c) Massive simulated battles. Often, my brother and I would wrestle/ swordfight/ joust, etc., and it wasn't long before my sisters would often join in a limited capacity. One day, tired of just horsing around, we decided to teach my oldest sister (perhaps 7 at the time) how to swordfight. The tiny issue was that we didn't tell my middle sister (maybe 4 at the time) what we were doing. Bless her tiny heart, she walked out the door and saw my brother about to smack her precious older sister right in the head. Without hesitating, and remarkably silently, she grabbed a broken deck baluster and ran over to my brother without anyone noticing, where she gave him such a wallop that she opened a 2" cut right under his eye. Naturally, she was a little surprised when my oldest sister immediately tackled her for her efforts. This kind of inspired mayhem only comes at the hands of the many.
d) Potentially intimidating police officers-- if you haven't read about last week's vacation (shameless plug coming), it might be worth your time. And if not, it doesn't take that long to read :)
Not every lesson that a big family teaches you is good (I'm sure I taught my poor siblings a few things about pain for example, and for that I am mostly sorry), but the real things that you benefit from are the everyday lessons. Is it possible to learn how to share as an only child? You bet, but you don't get all that much practice. When you grow up being one of seven in three small bedrooms, you share a lot-- your bed, your food, your time, your dignity... sorry about that last one. It's not really true. Mostly. I'm going to go back to enjoying my medium-sized family now.
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